Time to ditch the Covid clichés?

There’s a new sense of permanence around Covid, so let’s ditch the worst of the buzzwords, keep safe and get down to the serious questions – such as what to eat during a video meeting.

The moment has come. We can’t beat Covid-19 anytime soon, as the prime minister once used to promise and we can’t yet go back to our usual social habits or plan holidays with any sense of security. And we still can’t even have a traditional Christmas (although many are maintaining they can and will).

So what can we do? It’s time to start ditching the cliches, buzzwords and cheap marketing phrases associated with the notion that the pandemic was a blip.

That means it’s time to stop saying “new normal” (what’s new about it?), “Zoom generation” (most people still travel to work), “unprecedented times” (see new normal) and, most annoying of all, “the great resignation” which nobody ever seems to quantify but somehow exists in the zeitgeist based on a vague feeling fuelled by a million vague surveys.

Yes, it’s been a dispiriting December – in fact how about that as a new catchphrase, “dispiriting December”? Parties have shrunk from being three-course meals for 50 colleagues in funny hats in a posh restaurant to a few drinks outside huddled around a heater in the freezing drizzle, with a diminishing number of enthusiasts.

One pandemic phrase, however, which everyone relishes and that should stay the course is, “You’re on mute.”

Crumbling institutions

For the tech firms that have seen demand for their wares surge exponentially during the pandemic, it’s time we surrendered to reality. Remote working is here to stay and a good amount business travel is now consigned to the past.

Mr. Gabriel Engel, CEO of online comms firm Rocket.Chat, says the concept of “normal” no longer exists for businesses.

As the firm’s press release rather inelegantly states: “Anyone trying to claim we’ve reached a ‘new normal’ doesn’t understand that that concept is a complete moving target.”

Mr. Engel predicts, conventionally, that remote and hybrid work models “will continue to impact the business ecosystem” and that businesses will continue to invest in digital workplace technologies and “solutions for the long-term hybrid workplace” with “video and voice functionality becoming a must-have for team collaboration tools and platforms”.

So far so “normal”. But then comes the bombshell: “Traditional institutions and organizations will begin to crumble.”
Well, yes; for those of us witnessing the stress being placed on the NHS, the weakness of a government mired in scandal, and the pressure on the legal system among other huge issues, this appears a savvy prediction.

But Engel clarifies that he means young companies “largely unburdened by legacy systems and technical debt” will move quickly to harness digital advances, while some older businesses “burdened with slow, rigid and expensive IT systems”, will stagnate and slip away.

“Institutions beginning to crumble” is not exactly what most of us want to hear at the moment. We want something to rely  on in our time of need. No wonder two-thirds of business leaders believe 2022 will see risks increasing or staying at the same level, according to business risk consultant International SOS.

Can you eat and Zoom at the same time?

To avoid the doom and gloom it might be best to focus on practical matters close at hand. This is where Just Eat has come to the rescue, sweeping aside the furrowed brows offered by Rocket.Chat and International SOS. For Just Eat, the real problem is that us Zooming home-workers, what with our delicate mental wellbeing and Peloton addictions, find it difficult to munch our lunches while our colleagues gawp at us during video meetings.

Just Eat warns that if we have our Zoom calls on the wrong setting our faces will appear very large on everyone else’s screens as we chomp noisily. Apparently gallery view is necessary to avoid this. It’s no surprise in view of this hazard that half of us “Brits” are deeply uncomfortable with dining while on camera; less surprising is the revelation that “only 1 in 10 companies have implemented rules around eating on camera”.

The online ordering website provides some useful advice: “Bring your tidiest table manners and choose something easy to eat – this isn’t the time to be slurping noodles or battling with a messy burger.”

Etiquette expert Jo Bryant is enlisted by Just Eat to add further layers of complication to what was once a relatively simple activity. She says: “Many of us are still getting used to more flexible working models and it’s clear that we still haven’t mastered the lunch. While being on camera is new for many of us, it is something that has become part of our working life, so it is to make sure everyone is comfortable, especially over lunch when we’re meant to be bonding as a team.”