From our experiences, we know that it is easier to be clever than kind. But as a leader, we need a balance of IQ and EQ and in today’s times, scale for great leaders is tilting towards EQ and empathy.
I have witnessed managers who are devoid of feelings empathy and are run by only results and achievements. These managers may do great work with machines but not with humans who are driven by emotions. Yes, research has found that people whose brains are damaged in the area that generates emotions are not capable of decision making.
The fact remains, emotions are energies in motion and everyone have them and in order to be a great leader, one must focus on their emotional intelligence.
Many of us would have observed that a fight with spouse/ any family members, leads to bad mood and we find ourselves unable to perform well during the day. Likewise, there are leaders having bad days and it leads to whole team having a bad day and likewise many more. Overall, emotions have profound impact on us and hence we must learn to manage them.
Before we start leading others, let us focus on self-leadership. How a leader is showing up plays an important role in how team feels behaves and performs. Leaders must be aware about their triggers, motivations, strength, weaknesses etc. Knowing is first step but not enough. There should be emotional management and leaders must be high on emotional agility.
Once we start knowing ourselves the next step is understanding others and managing them. Empathy plays a crucial role for managers. Empathy is the ability to understand what others feel. It is about looking at things from others perspectives and seeing yourself in their place. It is all about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and feeling what they are feeling.
In the workplace, empathy goes beyond a simple understanding of each other. It also encompasses our own biases, privilege, and authority. It is also about listening to people around us and understanding both self and others.
I will conclude by sharing some of the techniques that have helped me a lot in improving my EQ.
Meditation – Though it took me around 5 months to start witnessing its benefits, the results are totally worth the efforts
Snooze – I will not reply to a nasty email immediately and would let my emotions settle before drafting a reply. This helps me respond objective and also helps maintain relationships. During a conversation, I would mention that I need some time to revert rather than continuous argument
Labeling and acknowledging emotions – I have experienced that naming them is taming them. Once acknowledged they lose their power to a great extent. By doing this, I come to know of my emotions of frustration stress upset anger and can most of the times stop them to move to rage
Respond and not react – This has been extremely helpful and I go by 6 seconds rule so that my logical brain can take over. Responding is well thought out and empowers me.
Gauri Das is an engineer turned HR Professional who has a keen interest in Human Psychology. She is a strategic HR leader with 15+ years of experience in crafting and aligning HR strategy with business goals. She supports business leaders and individuals in driving performance and improving capabilities.
She carries a wealth of experience with both start-ups and well-established organizations. She loves high energy and a growth-focused environment.
Some of her achievements are
• HR 100 under 40
• Top HR Mind (India)
• TAPAI and Economic Times Young HR Leader – top 70
• Growth-Oriented Women in Corporate WICA
• LinkedIn person the year 2020
She was recently recognised as top 10 powerful women in HR
She is a passionate speaker and has spoken in multiple national and international forums including TEDx. She is the Lead Membership for Professional Speakers Associations of India, Mumbai chapter (PSAI).
She mentors students and professionals and guides them on being future-ready with a possibilitarian attitude.
She is passionate about women empowerment and has founded a Leanin Circle called Leaders Lifting Leaders.
She loves networking and knowing people beyond their profiles brings her happiness and therefore she is a core committee member of Navi Mumbai LinkedIn Local.
Passion with Compassion is her mantra.
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